


The panda sweater returns!

by Thegreatsnotdragon



Series: Round Fish, Panda Sweaters and Whoopi Goldberg [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, And Mary has some concerns, Angst, But just a little, But they're on break in this one so..., Can be read as a standalone I suppose, Cas meets Dean's family, Dean can't deal, Disney Movie Marathon, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, I'm not sorry, Inappropriate Humor, Jealous Castiel, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Should you so desire, relationship drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 17:03:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13839177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thegreatsnotdragon/pseuds/Thegreatsnotdragon
Summary: Cas meets Dean's family and some shit GOES DOWN. But also they cuddle lots and watch Disney movies.





	The panda sweater returns!

**Author's Note:**

> This is tonally quite different from the other entries in this series, but I felt like they deserved some dumb fluffiness after everything I put them through. There is still angst though, cause it turns out I'm still me.  
> Here's some background for anyone who wants to read this as a standalone; about eight months before the events of this fic, Cas had a big freakout about the future, broke up with Dean, dated someone else for two months, and then they got back together. And Dean spent all that time basically crying into Cas's sweater (the titular panda sweater).  
> So there you go, ENJOY!

“What time do you think you’ll get here tomorrow?” Dean asks, lounging on the couch in the family room, phone in hand.

“About five in the afternoon, if the bus schedule is correct.”

Dean turns onto his back, looking up at the ceiling and smiling. “Fuck I miss you.”

“I miss you too. So much.” Cas says, and Dean can hear that tiny smile in his voice.

“Sam’s excited to meet you, I told him about how you like bees, and he wouldn’t shut up about how their brains can like age in reverse or something. I swear to God that kid’s such a freak, he’s gonna end up some kind of doctor Frankenstein. ”

“That’s nice.” Cas says, and Dean gets the sense he wasn’t really listening.

“Something wrong?” He asks.

“It’s just… What about your parents?”

“What about them?”

“Don’t they… hate me?”

“Why would they hate you baby?”

“Because they care about you, and I hurt you.”

“Cas, I’ve forgiven you, I’m sure they have too.”

“Well, that’s different, you’re in love with me. And you got some great blowjobs out of me having a guilty conscience.”

“Well you could try that on them too. I’ve seen my dad getting out of the shower a coupla times, guy’s hung.”

The only way to describe the sound that come through the line then is hysterical giggles. “You’re sick.”

“Hey! I’m the only one offering up any solutions!”

Cas lets out another few giggles, and then sighs softly.“I can’t wait to see you.”

“Just one more night of sleeping alone baby.” Dean says.

Cas hums wistfully in agreement.

“I’m gonna get you naked so fast you’ll think I’m a friggin wizard.”

He expects Cas to laugh, but instead he just says; “Good.”

Dean smiles widely. “So _that’s_ why you miss me.”

“No, it’s just one of the many things I’ve missed.”

“You slut you.”

The sound of something beeping comes through the line, and he hears Cas curse, which is rare.

“What’s that sound?”

He hears Cas moving, it sounds like he might be going down stairs. “It’s the fire alarm.”

Dean sits up instinctively, and his heart speeds up.

“It’s fine, Gabriel keeps trying to make homemade fudge and setting it off.” Cas’s voice is perfectly calm, if tinged with irritation.

Dean has never met Gabriel, but he’s heard a lot of stories which have made him both eager and afraid to.

“Gabriel! Not again!” He hears Cas yell in an exasperated voice.

“Tell him I said hi.” Dean says, smiling as he imagines the adorable face Cas makes when he’s annoyed.

“I will.” Cas grumbles, “I have to go.”

“Kay, call me tonight if you’re feeling frisky.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“Love you too baby, bye.”

 

About two hours later Mary comes through the door, cheeks red from the cold and lugging two big grocery bags. Dean follows her into the kitchen to help unpack, and all the while sneaks glances at her, wondering whether he should bring it up or not.

“Something on your mind sweetie?” She asks, smiling knowingly as she puts a can of crushed tomatoes in the cupboard above the stove.

“Sort of.” Dean replies, rubbing the back of his neck, “I was talking to Cas earlier and he was worried that um…You don’t hate him do you?”

Mary turns to him with a surprised expression, clearly not expecting the question.“Of course not! I’m looking forward to meeting him.” Her face and voice both radiate honesty, but there’s something else underneath it. Like it’s the truth, just not the _whole_ truth.

“Good...”

“You feeling nervous about tomorrow?” His mother asks.

“No.” He lies, and she instantly gets this knowing look on her face again. “A little.” Dean admits.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine sweetie. Wanna help with dinner?”

Dean wouldn’t exactly say he _wants_ to, but he does anyway. Mostly it’s just nice to spend time with his mom. Safe, and familiar. Most of the time when he’s at school, he doesn’t even register how much he misses home, because he gets so caught up in football and classes, his friends, and Cas. And now he gets to bring Cas here, into his home, into his family.

 

“So this _Jessica_ …” Dean says, looking at his little brother over the dinner table. “Are you guys..?”

Sam blushes beet red, and Mary shoots Dean a disapproving look.

“No! We’re just friends.”

 _“Really_ now?” Dean raises his eyebrows and waggles them suggestively, prompting Sam to give him one of the most pointedly unimpressed bitchfaces in his repetoar.

“Leave your brother alone.” His mother chides, with a small smile on her face. “Sammy’s a gentleman, unlike some.”

Sam smiles a huge smug smile at that.

“Hey! I’m the biggest gentleman there is. You ask Cas when he gets here, he’ll tell you how I wooed him when we started dating.”

“I’d love to hear that.” Mary says.

“Not me,” Sam says, looking down at his mashed potatoes. “I bet it’s gross.”

“You’re just jealous cause I’ve got game, and you can’t even admit you like a girl.” Dean says.

“You’re just jealous cause my face looks like a face, and your face looks like a butt.” Sam replies.

“Don’t talk about butts at the dinner table Samuel.” John says, pouring  more gravy on his steak.

Now it’s Dean’s turn to send a smug smile across the table at his brother. Sam just glares back at him and mimes the word _assface._ Dean stares back at him and mouths _virgin._

 

Dean is antsy as he stands by his car, watching as complete strangers walk off the bus. Not Cas, not Cas, not Cas, and ha! There he is.

There’s this strange sense of relief that comes over him when their eyes lock. Cas’s face splits open into a smile, one of those really rare, big gummy smiles. He’s wearing jeans and his black coat, but Dean can see the dark red sleeves of his sweater peeking out. And he’s carrying a big, worn brown leather suitcase in his right hand. He probably got it in a thrift store.  

Dean walks toward him, smiling widely, and holds his hand out to take the case.

“Hello Dean.” Cas says.

Dean barely hears the words coming from his lips, because he’s busy reading all the ones written in those blue eyes.

“Hi Cas,” He finally gets out as he takes the case from Cas.

They don’t kiss. Dean told Cas beforehand that he never really had a public coming out when he still lived here, preferring to just share it with the people closest to him. It’s not like he’s planning to actively hide the fact that he has a boyfriend, if someone asks he’ll be honest, but he’s not going to advertise it either. And making out at a crowded bus station, yeah, Dean sort of wants to kiss his boyfriend without having to worry about judgemental stares.

He opens the trunk of the Impala and hoists Cas’s ridiculous hipster luggage inside. Cas’s hand graces his back as he closes the trunk. _God_ Dean wants to get him alone. And naked.

“How’ve you been?” Dean asks, turning back to Cas and finding himself strangely transfixed by the other boy’s face. He’s missed his face.

“Since we spoke yesterday?” Cas asks, the corners of his lips pulling upwards.

“Yeah, did Gabriel burn the house down or not?”

“No, but one of these day it’s bound to happen.”

“How was the fudge?”

“Decent, it was one of his more successful attempts.”

The conversation dies, and after about thirty seconds Dean realises they’ve just been standing there, staring at each other. He shakes his head to pull his himself out of their weird telepathic trance.

“We should get in the car.” He says.

He sees Cas snap out of it too when he speaks. He looks at Dean, and smiles a tiny amused smile. “Yes,” He says. “We should do that.”

They get in the car, Dean starts it and then glances over at Cas, who’s looking a little fidgety.

He smiles as the Impala purrs to life beneath them.

“Feeling okay there?” He asks, shooting a glance at his boyfriend in the passenger seat.

“I’m fine.” Cas says, tapping his fingers against his knees. “A little nervous.”

Dean reaches across to take one of Cas’s hands. He lifts it to his face and plants a soft kiss on the flat of it.

“You’ll be fine baby, you’re impossible not to love.”

Cas smiles halfheartedly. “Thank you Dean, but I think you might be a little biased.”

“True, you turned those baby blues on me, and I was a goner. It’ll work on them too.”

“I hope you’re right.” Cas sighs. “And if not, I will have to resort to fellating your father.”

Hearing those words come out of Cas’s mouth prompts this strange reaction of both hysterical laughter and disgust.

“Oh God,” Dean groans, slumping his head down into his hands, still shaking with laughter. “I know I’m the one who made that joke, but it’s _gotta die._ I don’t think I can live with the image of _that_ in my head.”

Cas smiles, his eyes sparkling with amusement. Then he leans over and lets his lips graze Dean’s cheek so soft and quick. Just a ghosting of breath and lips on his face and then it’s gone. Dean wants more, more contact, wants to be closer, _feel_ him.

“Dean?” Cas says, now firmly back in his own seat.

“Yeah baby?”

“Shouldn’t you perhaps drive?”

Dean sends him a smile paired with a look that says _this isn’t over_ , and then starts down the street.

The drive from the bus station to his house is only about seven minutes, but through all of it Dean feels this _itch._ When he glances over at Cas he can tell that the other boy is still fighting major jitters. They’re only about three minutes  away when Dean says and internal _fuck it._ Maybe it’ll help calm Cas down. Two birds one stone.

He pulls over on the curb of the pretty desolate street they’re driving down.

“Is this it?” Cas asks, looking out the window, looking really nervous.

“No.” Dean.

“Oh, then why did we stop?” Cas asks, turning confused blue eyes on Dean.

“Sorry baby.” Dean says, unbuckling his seat belt. “I just gotta-”

He reaches over to Cas, unbuckling his seat belt as well, and then puts his hands around his boyfriend’s neck, tugging him forward into a kiss.

Cas lets out a small surprised noise, but after that he seems pretty amenable to this stop. His lips are soft and pliant against Dean’s. Dean’s finger’s end up tangled in Cas’s hair, and Cas lets out a soft moan. This was just supposed to be a kiss, but at the sound of Cas moaning, Dean’s brain is like; _yes good, more of that please._

He lets his lips move down Cas’s throat, smiling as he hears the small hitch in his boyfriend’s breathing.

“Dean,” Cas moans. “What are- What are you trying to do?”

“Get into your pants.”

At that Cas pulls away, and levels Dean with a look, his pupils dilated. “Dean! I can’t have sex with you right before I meet your parents!”

“Why not? They’ll never know.” Dean smiles widely. “We could just hop in the back seat for a quickie.”

Cas’s lips quirk upward into a tiny smile. “How romantic.”

Dean leans forward and puts his hands on both sides of Cas’s face. “You know what’s pretty fucking romantic baby?” He leans closer, putting their faces inches apart. “How much I’ve missed you. Missed touching you, how much I fucking _want_ you right now.”

Cas’s lips meet Dean’s again, needy but with an annoying amount of restraint.

“That _is_ very romantic.” Cas states, his face hovering right by Dean’s. “But I’m still not having sex with you right before meeting your parents. I’d rather meet them free of suspicious looking stains. Or sex hair.”

“Alright, I hear ya. But for the record, you’ve never not had sex hair.”

Cas pecks him on the lips one final time before reclining back in his seat. “If you had your way we could get arrested for public indecency.”

“It’d be worth it.” Dean says, smiling lasciviously at him.

Cas’s eyes meet his, the air in the car thrumming with want. For a moment they just look at each other, and Dean sees his own desire reflected in Cas’s eyes. He’s just about to ask if Cas is _sure_ he doesn’t want to get in the backseat, when Cas turns away, breaking the contact.

“Drive.” He says in a commanding voice.

So Dean does.

 

They pull up to the house, and Cas looks terrified.

“You’re not gonna puke are you?” Dean asks, switching the engine off.

Cas turns to him with a sort of manic glare. “Not _helping_.” He hisses.

Dean reaches forward to massage the back of Cas’s neck soothingly. And he’s also actively biting back a smile, because he’s never seen Cas this nervous before, and it’s really cute. Dean loves the fact that he cares enough to be this scared.

“Hey, you’re gonna do great, and I’ll be right there ok?”

Cas looks at him, eyes wide and almost panicked. Then he takes a deep breath and nods.

“Ok.” Dean says, smiling. “Let’s go.”

After  getting Cas’s suitcase out and locking the Impala, Dean starts up the driveway, taking Cas’s hand in his. He keeps his keys in the other hand and when they reach it he unlocks the door, and right before he pulls it open he turns to Cas. “Here we go.”

The house is quiet when they step inside, the only sound what sounds like water running, coming from the kitchen.

“Mom! Dad!” Dean shouts into the silence. “We’re heeere!”

There’s the sound of a door opening from upstairs, and then feet coming down the stairs.

The first face he sees is Sam’s, coming down the stairs with an expression of open curiosity. “How come you only called mom and dad and not me?” he asks looking down at them.

“I didn’t want Cas to freak out when he saw your giant Sasquatch ass.” Dean replies.

Right at that moment, Mary appears, coming out of the kitchen, looking a bit disheveled.

“John!” She yells. “They’re here!”

She approaches them, with a smile on her face, her eyes intent on Cas.

“You must be Castiel.” She says, hand extended towards him.

“Yes ma’am.” Cas replies, looking adorably shy.

“Please, call me Mary. I’m sorry I’m such a mess, I was just getting started on dinner.”

“It’s nice to meet you Mary.”

Dean sees his mother and boyfriend exchange a firm handshake. Mary’s smile is open and her gaze is almost calculating as she looks Cas over.

Dean hangs his jacket up while Mary asks Cas politely how his journey was. He then nudges his boyfriend softly, “Your coat.”

“Oh.” Cas says, seemingly just realising he’s still fully dressed for the outdoors. He starts to shrug out of his coat. “Thank you.”

Dean takes the coat from Cas, hanging it up while eyeing his little brother.

“So Sammy, you gonna introduce yourself or you just gonna stand there?” He asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Samuel!” Mary says chastisingly. “Where are your manners?”

Sam turns a little pink.

“Sorry.” He mutters as he passes his mother, shuffling forward towards Cas.

Sam reaches his hand out and Cas takes it.

“Hi.” Sam says, a little shyly.

“Hello Sam, it’s very nice to finally meet you.

The last member of the Winchester clan comes wandering in then, seemingly from doing work in the backyard, because he’s got snow stuck in his knitted hat, and what looks like patches of mud on his knees.

“Cas,” Dean says, drawing his boyfriend’s attention away from Sammy. “This is my father, John Winchester.”

Sam moves out of the way, to make room for John to approach.

“Very nice to meet you sir.” Cas says, as they shake hands.

“You too son, and feel free to call me John.”

“Dean, why don’t you show Cas around the house?” Mary suggests then. “Dinner will be ready in about an hour.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Dean replies.

He wants to show Cas the house, but more specifically his room. Even more specifically his bed.

Mary excuses herself, dragging Sam along to help with dinner, and John heads back outside, parting with a friendly wave directed at Cas.

Cas lets out a big shuddering breath when they’re left alone in the foyer. Dean turns to him with a big smile.

“See?! You did great!” He says, leaning in to brush his lips against Cas’s cheek.

“That was terrifying.” Cas says, leaning into Dean’s touch.

Cas turns slightly, and their lips meet in a swift, soft kiss.

“Wanna see the rest of the house?” Dean asks, when they pull apart.

“I’d love to.”

He leads Cas up the stairs, and first opens the door to Sam’s room, briefly showing him the inside. He then crosses to the other side of the hallway, and shoves the door open.

“And _this_ is where you’ll be sleeping.” He says. “My room.”

Cas steps through the door with a tentative but eager expression.

Dean cleaned the entire room yesterday, vacuuming the floor and even dusting the shelves. And he changed to fresh sheets this morning. Cas stands in the middle of the room, letting his eyes fall on every single surface of the room. He looks enraptured. Like it’s not just a small bedroom with plain

wood floors and blue wallpaper that’s come loose in a few spots. Dean feels strangely self conscious.

He stands silently behind Cas, waiting for some kind of reaction.

“It’s nice.” Cas says, facing the window, his back towards Dean.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I like it.”

“Wanna check out the downstairs?” Dean asks, and his voice cracks on the last word.

Something about seeing Cas here, in Dean’s world, is making him feel a little like… _Emotional_ or something. Wow has Cas turned him into a huge fucking sap.

Cas peers at him from where he’s stood, enveloped in light shining in through the window.

“Dean?” He says, cocking his head to the side. “Is something wrong?”

The familiar head tilt makes Dean smile.

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just… It’s a little weird, having you here.”

“Weird how?”

“Weird like new, and unfamiliar. But good.”

Wordlessly, Cas walks toward him, and wraps his arms around Dean’s neck, and looks him straight in the eye. “I’m really happy to be here.”

Dean pulls away, to shut and lock the door behind them. Then he spares a moment just to look at Cas, before he pounces on him. This is pretty much all he’s been thinking about since Cas got off that bus, with his ridiculous fucking suitcase.

Their lips meet in a needy, urgent kiss.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Dean moans.

He doesn’t waste any time letting his hands slide down to Cas’s firm butt. Cas’s lips trail across his cheek toward his ear, finding that _spot_ . _Naked, naked, naked_ , is the only thought running through Dean’s head. Cas needs to be naked.He steers them toward the bed.

Once they’re horizontal, Dean let’s his hand slip down to the front of Cas’s denim clad crotch, stroking his hardening length through the fabric. Cas moans, and lifts his head up, chasing Dean’s lips. The kiss is filthy, both of them moaning through it and rutting against each other. _Naked, naked, naked_. Right.

He lifts Cas’s sweater up by the hem, and starts pulling it over the other boy’s head. It’s a bit awkward getting it off, but they’re mostly immune to being self conscious about stuff like that in bed at this point. God, Dean is happy to have that scratchy sweater material out of the way. He moves his hands back down to Cas’s crotch, undoing his zipper. He starts to shimmy the jeans down Cas’s hips, but it’s a little difficult, Cas wears pretty tight jeans.

“I can do that.” Cas says, his voice even hoarser than usual. “Get your own off.”

They both get their jeans and boxers off, tossing them down on the floor by the bed. Dean looks at Cas, and doesn’t ever want to stop. All that perfect nakedness. Miles of skin. He could just look for hours. Except he’s really horny, and needs to touch.

“Oh God baby,” Dean moans, moving towards him. “You look so fucking good.”

Cas wraps his arms around him, and their lips movie against each other in a panting, greedy kiss.

“Dean, _God_ ,” Cas moans, grinding his erection against Dean’s thigh. “How do you want..?”

“Let me taste you.”

The words spill from Dean’s lips, surprising himself. God, yes, he realises, that’s what he wants. He wants to taste. Wants to make Cas writhe and moan his name and come.

“ _Oh God yes_.”

Dean trails kisses all down his stomach, relishing in Cas’s responding little shivers.

He gives him just a few strokes before taking him into his mouth. Cas hips buck up, and his fingers bury themselves in Dean’s hair, tugging harder with every cry of pleasure. At one point, he bucks up really far when Dean isn’t prepared, making him gag and pull off.

“Sorry sorry sorry.” Cas says, voice completely wrecked.

“It’s okay.” Dean says, wincing a little. “Just go a little easier ok?”

“Okay, sorry.”

Dean takes a few more seconds to recover, and then swallows him back down. He can tell when Cas is really close by the almost pained sounds escaping him. He would be worried about them being too loud, but he knows for a fact that his entire family is either downstairs, or out in the yard.

“ _Dean, I_ -”

That’s all the warning he gets before Cas is coming hot right in his mouth, writhing all over the bed.

Dean swallows, partly because he wants to, and partly because it’s just less messy that way. When Cas stills, Dean turns his attention to himself, stroking himself to the sight of his blissed out boyfriend, and that delicious flush covering his entire body.

When Cas has recovered from his orgasm slightly, he looks up at Dean.

“Come here.” He says in a breathless voice.

Dean scoots up behind him.”Hey could you..?” He motions for Cas to turn over, and the other boy does, breathing heavily.

Dean rubs his erection up and down between his boyfriend’s bare ass cheeks. In a clumsy rush he pulls the first drawer of the bedside table open, taking the bottle of lube and smearing generously on the inside of Cas’s cheeks. He works himself to the brink that way, and Cas twist his head around at an awkward angle, to give Dean what is potentially the sloppiest, breathiest kiss in human history.

“ _Oh fuck baby_ ,” Dean moans right before the flood of pleasure takes him.

He lets out a long broken moan as he comes, and his teeth end up buried in the soft flesh of Cas’s shoulder.

The first thing he notices when he comes down is that he was so focused on getting Cas naked that he completely forgot to take his t-shirt off. And the lower part on the front of it is now a total mess.

“God!” He groans, slumping down on his back.

He hears Cas moving next to him, shifting around the bed.

“Don’t turn around.” Dean says, struggling to speak while catching his breath. “You’ll get lube all over the sheets.”

He feels Cas’s head perch on his chest. “You know, that’s one of the things I’ve always dreamed a man would say to me one day.”

Dean lets out a breathless laugh. Cas’s fingers trail up under his t-shirt, and seemingly paint shapes on his skin.

Once Dean can move again, he strips out of the t-shirt, and sits up. He slides farther down the bed, and uses it to wipe away the combination of lube and come between his boyfriend’s butt cheeks and on the small of his back. When he’s gotten all of it, he throws the shirt on the floor, and leans down to press a soft kiss to Cas’s magnificent ass.  

He still has the taste of Cas in his mouth, so he takes a drink from the stale glass of water on the bedside table. Then he relaxes in the familiar hold of Cas’s arms.

“I’m sorry I made you gag.” Cas says.

“It’s fine baby. You know you’re like ridiculously hot when you lose control like that.”

“But I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

“Well I bit you, we’re even.”

“I liked it.”

“Really?” Dean feels a huge smile spread over his face. “Guess we just learned a new thing then.”

Cas leans in and kisses him softly. “Guess we did.”

They crawl under the covers, because the air on their bare skin becomes a little too cold after a while. Dean can’t get enough of the feeling of Cas’s body pressed up against his, with no layers separating them.

“I’m gonna get your ass next time you know.”

“Get my ass?” Cas says, cute little lines appearing as his face wrinkles up in confusion.

“Get as in I’m gonna bite it.”

“I’m fairly certain I would enjoy that.” Cas says, gently nosing at Dean’s cheek like a friggin cat.

“Good, cause I’ve been wanting to get my teeth in there for months.”

“Do you ever think that your attachment to my ass is a tad strange?”

“I think you’re underestimating how great your ass is.”

“Could be.”

Cas leans in for another kiss, soft, sweet and slow.

Dean tells him about christmas with his family. They talked about it a little on the phone, but now he tells him everything. How his parents got into an argument all in hushed tones, because they couldn’t agree on whether to finally get Sammy a cat or not. How he had to wear this ugly ass sweater his grandmother bought, because Mary insisted he would be rude not to. And Cas listens. He’s a really great listener, that’s one of the things Dean loves the most about him. Dean could be talking about any dumb shit, but Cas _never_ looks bored or disinterested. He just burrows closer to Dean and asks a lot of follow up questions.

“Shit we should probably clean up.” Dean realises. “We gotta eat dinner soon.”

“Oh no!” Cas groans, burying his head in the pillow dramatically.

“What’s the matter baby?” Dean asks, planting a kiss on his shoulder.

“I said I wasn’t going to have sex with you right before meeting your parents, and then I did!”

“Pretty sure it was after… Unless we like experience time differently.”

“That was just an introduction! Now I have to have dinner with them, and I probably smell, and you just cleaned come out of my ass!”

Dean tries not to laugh at that, but it’s a lost cause. Cas glares a little but it’s not very convincing. Dean lifts his boyfriend’s arm up, takes a sniff of his armpit and nope, fresh as a daisy. Well a daisy that just had sex, but not the very straining kind.

“Okay, first of all, you smell fine. And second of all, it’s good we had sex, because you’ll be more relaxed at dinner.”

“Do we have time to shower?”

“I doubt it. Besides, don’t you think that would make it pretty obvious?”

Dean gets off the bed, standing up and reaching his hand out to Cas.

“Come on grumpy, let’s get dressed.”

Cas just picks his clothes up from the floor and puts them on while Dean has to go pick out another t-shirt from his closet.

He shows Cas to the bathroom, where they both wash their hands. And also make out a little. Then they hear Mary’s voice clear through the house, announcing that dinner is ready.

 

Cas gets the seat next to Dean, and Mary starts the conversation right away, asking him polite question about his major and his classes. Cas answers politely, openly and a bit nervously. All in all everything is going well, until Dean catches Sam looking at him intently from across the table.

“I know I’m pretty Sammy, but what’s with the staring? You’re making me feel objectified.”

“Weren’t you wearing a different shirt before?” Sam asks, because he has no tact.

“Oh… Um… Yeah” Is Dean’s very eloquent response.

He glances at Cas, who’s posture has gone tense.

“Why’d you change?” Sam asks, still oblivious.

“I uh… Spilled something.” He says, hoping Sam will just drop it.  

“What?” Sam asks.

“Huh?”

“What’d you spill?”

“Um… juice.” Dean says weakly.

Cas looks like he wants to die.

“What?” Sam says, his face crinkled up in confusion. “I’ve been down here all the time, you never came to get any juice. Do you have juice in your room?”

Dean doesn’t know what he did to deserve such a dumbass for a little brother.

“No Sam, I don’t have juice in my room.” He says, rolling his eyes at the ridiculous question.

“Then where did yo-”

“Sam, I think perhaps we should change the subject.” Mary says, interrupting in a soft but stern voice.

Clearly, she’s connected the dots. And judging by John’s mildly amused face so has he, because fucking anyone could. Sam looks confused as he takes in their tense expressions.

“Wha-” He begins to say, but then his eyes fall on Cas’s very red face, and Dean sees the moment of realisation in his eyes. “Oh. _Gross._ ”

This is followed by the most awkward silence Dean has ever experienced. Dean would normally think this kind of thing was pretty funny, since he doesn’t have much of a sense of shame as far as his sex life is concerned. What does bother him though, is how Cas looks like he wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole. Dean knows how bad he wanted to make a good first impression.

Luckily, Mary swoops in to end the awkwardest of awkward silences, directing a question at John, about what to watch tonight. Dean’s hand finds Cas’s knee under the table, in an attempt to be reassuring. A failed attempt, judging by the still mortified look on Cas’s face.

It feels like a sort of weirdly intimate thing to do in front of his family, but Dean leans in and brushes his lips against Cas’s cheek softly.

“Hey, I’m sorry my brother’s such a dumbass.” He whispers, before drawing back quickly.

Cas looks at him, and Dean looks back, trying to be wordlessly reassuring. Cas’s lips quirk upwards into a teeny tiny smile, small and private.

When Dean turns back to the rest of the table, he notices his mother watching their exchange, with a strange look in her eye. Shrewd, maybe worried, maybe a little angry. He’s not sure what to make of it.

Cas does recover from his embarrassment, and the dinner carries on, like nothing happened.

 

“I think I’m going to move to another country.” Cas says, face buried in Dean’s pillow.

“Yeah, can I come?”

“Only if you promise I never have to face your family again.”

“It wasn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be Cas.”

“Then why am I traumatized?”

“Cause you’re a big baby.”

Without looking up, Cas swats Dean on the shoulder.

As revenge, Dean digs his teeth into his boyfriend’s denim clad ass.

As opposed to saying _ow,_ or making any sort of noise of complaint, Cas just lets out a low moan. Dean plants his head down on the small of his back, letting out a chuckle.  “You really do like that huh?”

“Yes.” Cas replies in another low moan.

Dean kind of can’t believe he’s gone this long without discovering this. “Hey, so I was thinking…” He begins.

“Yes?”

“That maybe tomorrow I could show you around town?”

“I’d love that.”

“Great,” Dean says, smiling.

He lifts Cas’s sweater up, and sinks his teeth into the soft pale flesh on his lower back.

Cas’s responding moan has his dick twitching in his pants. He moves to the other side and bites down again, then going over the teeth marks with a soft swipe of his tongue. About thirty minutes later, they have confirmed that Cas does indeed very much enjoy having his ass bit.

Once they’ve gotten cleaned up again, Dean turns to his boyfriend with a smile. “Hey Cas?”

“hm?”

“Wanna watch Frozen?”

They fall asleep halfway through, after a disagreement about whether the man in the sauna is the shopkeeper’s eldest son, or his husband (“ _It’s clearly his husband Dean, all the children have brown hair, they must be adopted.”_ ).

 

“Where are you going? Isn’t the checkout counter this way?”

“Yeah, just need to get some doritos first.”

After a day of seeing showing Cas all of Lawrence, they’ve been sent on an errand to the grocery store by Mary.  

“But it’s not on the list,” Cas protests.

“Here’s the thing you gotta know about me Cas,” Dean turns toward his boyfriend and says in a low, jokingly sultry voice; “I’m a rebel.”

Cas rolls his eyes and smiles. “You’re an assbutt.” He says, in the same tone someone would use to say _I love you_.

They’re bickering over dorito flavors when Dean hears a very familiar voice from behind.

“Dean Winchester.” The voice says.

And just like that, it’s like he’s travelled back in time. He turns around with a smile already spreading across his face. “Lisa.”

He takes in her face, just as beautiful as it was the last time he saw her. The summer before college. She’s changed her hair though, it’s a rich brown now, and only down to her shoulders. And she has that same smile across her face as Dean does. A smile that speaks of countless memories flooding back in a single moment. Dean reaches forward to wrap his arms around her, still smiling widely.

“Been a long time Braeden.” He says when they pull back.

“I could say the same to you.” Lisa replies, still smiling brightly at him.

“You doing good?”

“I am, you?”

“Yeah I’m good, surprised as hell to see you here though.”

“Well, my parents live here just like yours.” Lisa says with a warm smile.

“I know Lis, I’ve been to your house like a million times remember?”

“Oh I remember.”

“But it kinda feels like that was all-”

“In another life?” Lisa finishes.

“Exactly.

Dean looks at her, smiling as he remembers that other life.

“Who’s your friend?” Lisa says, pulling him back to reality.

Oh right. Dean turns to face his boyfriend, and finds him looking at them with an expression of polite interest. Too polite to be completely authentic.

“This is Cas.” He says, gesturing to the other boy. “Cas; meet Lisa.”

They exchange polite handshakes and nice to meet yous, and Dean tries, as he often does, to discern his boyfriend’s feelings.

“God, I really wish I could stay and talk more, but if I don’t get this ice cream home soon, Karen will kill me. She’s massively pregnant, and scarier than ever.”

“Karen’s pregnant!? That’s crazy! Pass on my congratulations!”  
Karen is Lisa’s older sister, and Dean will always remember her as the girl walking by outside Lisa’s room, nudging the door open wider as she went.

“I will.” Lisa replies, parting with a smile and a wave. “I’m glad I ran into you. Hope it happens again.”

“Yeah, me too.” Dean says, waving back.

He turns to Cas, expecting some line of questioning, but instead Cas just hoists a bag of nacho cheese doritos off the shelf, and plants them in the cart.

“We’re getting these ones.” He says, steering the cart towards the exit.

 

Dean waits for it when they’re in the car. The ride is silent for the first few minutes, before there’s an intake of breath from the passenger seat.

“So… Lisa…” Cas says, in a voice that’s a little too smooth to be casual.

“Yeah?”

“She seems nice.”

Dean feels a smile spreading across his face at Cas’s tone. “She is nice.”

There’s no reply, and Dean feels his smile growing wider. “Something on your mind there?” He asks, sending Cas a look of feigned innocence.

“She was your..?”

“Girlfriend yeah.”

“When?”

“In high school, for about two years.”

“I see.”

Silence falls again, and Dean glances at his boyfriend, who’s staring out the window, seemingly lost in thought.

“That’s it?” He asks.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not curious about anything else? Why we broke up, if I loved her, if she took my virginity?”

“Why did you break up?” Cas asks.

Interesting that he should choose to focus on _that_ specific question.

“We were both leaving for college. And wanted to be free I guess. Not stuck in a long distance relationship. It wasn’t messy, completely mutual.”

“That’s nice.” Castiel says, but his tone doesn’t match his words.

“Something you’re not saying there?”

There’s a moment of silence, and Dean knows Cas is pondering whether to share his thoughts or not.

“I don’t like thinking of you with someone else.” He says finally, in a reluctant tone.

Dean glances at him again, and fuck, if he wasn’t driving he’d surge forward and kiss that grumpy look right off his face.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Cas asks, annoyance seeping into his voice.

“Cause, I love it when you get jealous.”

Dean waits for  reply, but instead what he gets is Cas leaning over, and sinking his teeth into Dean’s upper arm.

“Ow!” He yells, yanking his arm back from his fucking vampire boyfriend.

Cas just pulls back and smiles serenely at him.

“What was that for?!”

Cas smiles again, and leans closer. Dean pulls back slightly with an accusing glare, but Cas ignores him, and presses a soft teasing kiss on his neck. “I was punishing you.” He murmurs.

“Ok, well don’t just bite people when they’re driving!”

“Bite _people_? What other people would I be biting?”

He trails kisses up the side of Dean’s neck, tickling and teasing. It makes Dean want to close his eyes and lean into it, and _fuck watch the road._

“Jesus Christ!” He curses. “You’re a fucking danger to the public!”

Cas pulls back, smiling smugly. “The public isn’t here Dean.”

He’s right,  they’re driving down a completely empty road.

“Well I’m here, I’m part of the public. You’re a danger to me. And yourself. And like the wildlife or something.”

Cas lets out a soft laugh at that. Followed by a moment of silence.

“Dean,” He says finally.

“Yeah baby?”

“Did you love her?”

“Yeah, I did.”

He did love Lisa, she made him happy, and when they were together, everything was just… Easy.

“I see.”

“But that was before I met you.”

Cas shoots Dean a small smile. “I know Dean. And I know you’ve been in love before me, it’s not rational for me to be jealous about that.”

“Yet you still are.” Dean says with a smug smirk.

“Yes.” Cas admits.

Dean knows he’s Cas’s first love. Not the first person he kissed, or dated, but his first love. First relationship. So maybe it is weird for him to think about the fact that Dean has loved someone else before him.

They get to the house, and Dean locks the impala, absentmindedly rubbing the spot on his arm where Cas bit him.

“Is this your new thing now? Biting?” He asks, turning see Cas watching him with a unreadable expression. “What’s up?”

“Would you…” Cas starts, blushing and looking down at the ground. “Would you do long distance for me?”

“You trying to tell something Cas?”  

Cas blushes even deeper. “No, I just wanted to know, since you said that’s why you and Lisa broke up- Never mind, I shouldn’t have asked, it was silly. And immature.”

He looks mortified with himself and Dean smiles widely because blushy Cas is his favorite Cas.

“You just wanted to know if I’d be willing to do it for you.” Dean smiles and steps forward gripping his face in his hands. “Go the distance and all that.”

Cas nods and bites his lip, still blushing furiously.

Dean presses his lips to Cas’s, quick and gentle. “Baby, even if you were on the moon.”

 

Dean can’t sleep. They went to bed about two hours ago, and he’s still feels wide awake.  2.11 A.M. His phone tells him. He’s too cold, because Cas is a dirty cover hog. A pretty cute one though. He decides that since he’s up, he might as well go to the bathroom. And when he’s coming back from the bathroom, he finds himself wondering if there’s still any pie left from dinner… Dean loves a midnight snack.

He pads down the stairs, trying his best to be quiet. The house is kind of eerie at night, but Dean would probably brave the fires of Mount Doom for a piece of his mom’s apple pie.

He freezes when he sees a figure standing by the sink, but then he realises it’s just Mary. Probably suffering through one of her bouts of insomnia.

“Hey,” Dean says, switching the light on.

Mary blinks a few times, adjusting to the light.

“Hi sweetie. Can’t sleep?”

“Nah. And Cas hogs the covers.”

“So you thought you’d come down for some pie in the middle of the night?”

How well she knows him. “Yeah.”

Mary smiles fondly and goes to open up the fridge.  “Let’s heat some up then.”   

They take out plates, spoons and ice cream while the microwave buzzes.

“Ran into Lisa today at the grocery store.” Dean says in between bites.

Mary looks up from her plate and a sentimental smile spreads across her face.

“Really? How was she doing?”

“We didn’t get a chance to talk much, but she looked great. Apparently Karen’s pregnant.”

“Oh yes, I know. She’s a little young perhaps, but still, good for her.”

“Young? You were her age when you had me.”

“That was a different time.” She sighs. “I miss Lisa, you two were so sweet together.”

There’s nothing odd about her words, but Dean still senses that _thing_ underneath. That thing he’s seen flash in her eyes, that thing brewing underneath her voice.

“Mom?”

“Yes honey?”

“Do you not like Cas?”

Mary lets out an audible sigh, signaling that she knew this was coming. “It’s not that I don’t like him honey, it’s that I worry about you.”

Dean knows exactly where this is going, but still he asks; “What about?”

Mary reaches across to lay a hand on his shoulder. “When you came here, after he broke up with you, honey I’ve never seen you so upset in my entire life. You were so hurt and confused, and all I could do was watch. When you were little and you fell, I could patch you up and kiss it better, and you would feel fine. But now, someone hurts you, and all I can do is watch. I see how much you love him, and it scares me. It scares me because I want you to be with someone who will handle your heart with care. And I don’t think he is that person.”

“Look I…  I know Cas has done some shitty things, but he loves me, I know he loves me, and I can’t even imagine being with someone else.”

“Okay.” Mary pauses for a moment as if she’s not sure she’s said her peace. “Just let me ask you one thing. What are you going to do the next he decides he wants to date someone else for a few months? The next time he wants to treat you like crap? Will you take him back again?”

“It wasn’t like that!” Dean protests, and it sounds weak even to him.

Because every word she’s saying is cutting straight to his deepest fears, and questions he never wants to think about.

“You’re my son Dean.” She says, ignoring his interruption. “Nobody gets to treat you like crap. And if anyone tries, I’ll kick their ass. But if you just _let_ them, what am I supposed to do? It hurts me, and it will hurt you too in the long run, believe me.”

Dean doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know what to say. He goes to the sink, rinses his plate off then puts that, and the dessert fork in the dishwasher. He can feel Mary watching him silently.

“Goodnight.” He mumbles, passing her headed for the stairs.

“Dean, honey, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad.” Mary says, worry plain in her voice.

“It’s fine.”

He goes up the stairs, closes the door to his room behind him and gets back in bed. Cas is breathing softly beside him, but he feels somehow farther away.

 

When Cas opens his bleary eyes the next morning Dean is already awake. And has been all night, since his talk with Mary. Meaning that he’s gotten exactly zero hours of sleep. Which would be enough to put him in a bad mood, but then there’s also the fact that his mother decided to completely fuck with his mind last night. And he’s been lying awake, unable to get her words out of his head. Finally he couldn’t take it, so he turned on the computer just to distract himself, plugged in his headphones and fell down a deep youtube hole.

“Morning.” He says, when he sees that Cas’s eyes are open.

“What time is it?” Cas asks, how words garbled and voice groggy.

“Like nine.”

“How long have you been up?”

“All night.”

Cas blinks a few times before that seems to sink in.“What? Why? Couldn’t you sleep?”

“You were hogging the covers again.”

Cas shoots him an unimpressed look. “This isn’t a blanketless house Dean, that can’t have been the reason.”

“It wasn’t.”

Cas picks up on the heaviness in his tone, and his eyes widen marginally. “Dean? What’s the matter?”

Dean wants to tell him, but when he opens his mouth nothing comes. Cas sits up in the bed, and puts his hand against Dean’s cheek. “Did something happen?”

Dean clears his throat and looks into his boyfriends clear blue eyes. “Sort of.”

“Do you...want to talk about it?

He wants to, but it’s like he’s just not ready to repeat the words Mary said last night. Also not ready to tell Cas that his mother has some less than positive thoughts about him.

Dean leans closer and lets their lips brush for a split second. “Later okay?”

Cas’s blue eyes are worried, but he leans in for another quick peck. “Okay.”

Dean pulls away, with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. Pretty soon he starts to feel the beginning throbs of a headache, which serves to make his mood even pissier. Yeah, sleep deprivation is a bitch. Not going to bed was pretty fucking stupid.

Another thing that doesn’t help is that when Cas climbs off the bed to get dressed Dean glimpses something _very_ familiar lying folded towards the bottom of his suitcase. Wordlessly he reaches in and pulls it out.

“I wasn’t paying attention and accidentally packed it.” Cas says, with a hint of a nervous shiver in his voice.

After they got back together, Cas completely retired the panda sweater, maybe thinking that seeing it would send Dean into instant PTSD crying mode or something. Which is stupid, because it’s just a sweater. Dean hasn’t seen it since Cas took it back, when it still had all kinds of food stains on it. But now it’s here, clean and folded. And just a sweater. It’s totally just a sweater. Not like it’s an omen meaning that his mom was right or something. Cause that’s crazy. And stupid.

Dean lifts his eyes from the sweater to his boyfriend, who’s staring back, eyes wide with concern. “Wear it.” he says, tossing it to Cas. “It’s just a sweater.”

Cas takes it and clutches it in his hands, but his eyes are filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah Cas, it’s just a sweater. A nice sweater too, and you must think so too or you wouldn’t have kept it. So just wear it.”

“If you’re sure…” Cas says hesitantly.

“Yeah dude I’m sure.” Dean says, turning his attention back to his computer screen.

“Don’t call me _dude_ Dean. I’m your boyfriend, it’s weird.”

Dean lets out a laugh, but it sounds tense and off even to him. He sees Cas shoot him a thoughtful glance while he gets dressed. He does put the panda sweater on, along with some sweatpants and obnoxiously printed socks.

They go down and have breakfast just the two of them, and Dean’s mind keeps slipping back to last night. Mary’s words in this very room, only about seven hours ago. _Will you take him back again?_ The question has seared itself in his mind, making him itch from the inside. _Will you take him back again?_

“Dean?”

Dean looks up to see Cas looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“I asked what you wanted to do today.”

“Oh, um… I dunno. I’m kinda tired, maybe we could just hang out here, and then maybe like… Go for a walk or something.” Dean says, barely even registering the words coming out of his own mouth.

Cas stares. “Go for a walk? You, Dean Winchester, want to go for a walk?”

“People take walks, I’m people, I can take a walk.”

“You hate walking.”

“Fine forget it!” Dean says, exhaustion making him overly sensitive and irritable. “Just tell me whatever you want to do, and we’ll do that!”

There’s a loaded pause.

“Dean, perhaps you should go to bed, I could spend the day with Sam.”

Cas’s low and careful tone is what alerts Dean to the fact that he’s being an ass, and that Cas was just teasing.

“Shit sorry, I’m being a dick.”

“It’s fine, you’re just one of those people who doesn’t function well on no sleep.” Cas’s hand finds its way to his neck, gently caressing. “You should go to bed, I can keep myself entertained.”

“Nah, I’ll just screw up my whole sleep routine. Besides, I didn’t bring you here so you could watch me sleep.”

“Okay, let’s just stay in and watch movies or something. And perhaps take a walk, if you really want to.”

“Sure.” Dean says.

“What do you want to watch?”

“I dunno, but nothing too gay.” Shit the sleep deprivation is really not doing good things for his verbal filter.

He prepares himself for a lecture on internalized homophobia, but apparently Cas decides that Dean is too pissy to risk it.

“That’s quite a statement from a man who’s very fond of having a dick up his ass.” He says instead.

To be fair, Dean is also very fond of having his dick up Cas’s ass, which...yeah… Probably not really _less_ gay now he thinks about it.

“Well what can I say, I’m full of contradictions.” Dean really should keep his mouth shut, lest Cas decides to punish him by making him watch _Beaches_ or something.

They curl up on the couch in the living room, and Dean sorts through the dusty rack of dvd:s, and they ultimately settle on a Disney movie marathon (Which Dean refrains from pointing out is kinda gay). Sam joins about halfway through Beauty and the Beast, reclining in the armchair in his pajamas.

Dean’s eyes keep trying to slide closed, and he keeps forcing them open again, no matter how many times Cas gently suggests he just lets himself sleep.

“Don’t even bother.” Sam tells Cas, mouth stuffed full of popcorn. “He’s like a completely different person when he hasn’t slept; totally irrational. Like an evil twin or something, don’t be surprised if a goatee just magically appears on his face.”

“Shut your trap Samantha!” Dean says, hurling the remote at him.

“Dean!” Cas chastises.

Dean shrugs, unrepentant, and smiles viciously at Sam who’s glaring back and rubbing the spot on his shoulder where the remote hit. Cas slides closer and beckons Dean to lie down with his head in his lap. He cards his fingers through Dean’s hair distractedly while the movie keeps playing.

Dean keeps alternating between thinking about what Mary said last night, or experiencing some very intense emotions brought on by Disney. They all cry when Simba finds Mufasa's body, but the only difference is that Dean like… Keeps crying. For the rest of the entire movie. And it’s real ugly crying too. Cas just cradles him, a little baffled, while Sam snickers in the background.

They heat up lasagna for lunch, and eat it on the couch while watching _The Hunchback of Notre Dame._

And while Esmeralda decides that apparently this dude with bangs is who she wants to fuck (Really?), Dean still can’t get his mother’s words out of his head. And even the feeling of Cas’s body pressed against his back doesn’t help.

The thing is, that for all his life, everything his mother has told him has been filed away in his brain as absolute, unquestionable truth. So the fact that she basically told him that she thinks he and Cas are doomed to fail as a couple, is a total mindfuck, because it’s like part of him can’t help but believe she’s right. But that’s just one part of it. The other part is the question. _What will you do when he decides he wants to date someone else for a few months? Will you take him back again?_ It’s not that Dean believes that Cas would do that, he doesn’t. But he still can’t get the question out of his head, and he can’t ignore how horrible it makes him feel.

Hunchback ends, and they pop in _The Little Mermaid._ And then that’s over, and Dean’s kind of upset because that prince Eric is one hot piece of ass. Ariel ain’t bad either, and King Triton could get it _for sure._

“If you really want to go for a walk we should go soon.” Cas says.

Dean has no idea what’s broke in his brain, that instead of hell no, let’s watch _Aladdin_ , he says; “Sure, let me just put some other pants on.”

Cas looks surprised as Dean immediately shuffles upstairs to change out of his flannel pajama pants, into a pair of stretchy track pants. He comes back downstairs, they both shrug on their jackets, hats scarves, and gloves before heading outside.

It takes Dean approximately three seconds to remember why he doesn’t take walks. Especially in the middle of the friggin winter.  But he doesn’t want to deal with Cas teasing him if he just suggests they go back inside right away. So he decides to just suffer in silence. Despite his headache, exhaustion, and the fucking _cold_ , and also how fucking boring it is to just _walk._ And what makes it worse is that Cas seems like he’s having a nice time. Which is _insane,_ because they’re just fucking walking! He keeps stopping and saying things like _What a nice house_ or  _Look what and interestingly shaped tree Dean_ (Yeah, Dean has a weird ass boyfriend). And after about half an hour of this, Dean can’t take it anymore. A man can only be silent for so long. Cas is in the process of stopping to inspect yet _another_ tree, and Dean feels like his brain is going to explode.

“It’s a fucking tree Cas! They all look the same! Like trees! How is this so interesting to you!?”

Cas stares at Dean like he’s grown a second head. And Dean is willing to admit that may have been a slight overreaction.

“Do you want to go home?” Cas asks, in a soft understanding tone that instantly makes Dean feel bad.

“No. Sorry, I’m acting crazy.”

“You are.” Cas agrees. “Which would be a good reason to go home.”

“No Cas it’s fine, really. Let’s just keep going, I’m having a great time.”

Cas looks like he’s trying really hard to bite down a smile. “You’re having a great time?”

“Yep, I’ve discovered a new side of myself. Dean Winchester, great outdoorsman. So many things to see out here, like this… tree.”

“Dean let’s just go back.”

“I don’t want to go back.” Dean insists. _You’re losing it dude,_ his brain chimes in with.

“Okay, well I’m getting cold, so I’m going back. I suppose you’ll be staying out here, since you’re having such a great time.”

“Yep, sounds like a plan.” Dean says.

Cas gives him an incredulous look, before breaking down into laughter.

“Why are you laughing at me!?” Dean yells, agitated.

“Because! You’re being completely unreasonable!”

“No I’m not! I’m just enjoying nature!”

Cas’s laughter tapers off, and they sort off stare each other down, having reached an obvious stalemate.

“You’re really going to stay out here?” Cas asks.

Dean gives him his biggest grin and plops down on the ground, legs folded beneath him like a Buddha statue. “Yep.”

Cas treats him to another incredulous stare, and then the biggest eye roll he’s ever seen. Then he turns and walks in the direction the came. “Keep your phone on you.” is his parting message.

Dean sits there, on the ground by a stupid fucking tree, his ass getting colder by the second. He should really get up and go after Cas. He stands up, intending to do just that, but then he sort of just… Doesn’t. Instead, for some reason he goes in the other direction. And as he’s walking alone, those thoughts come back in full force. _Will you take him back again?_ And Dean still can’t think about it, so just as a means of distraction he keeps walking, until he finds himself standing outside Lisa’s house.

He climbs the porch steps, a wave of nostalgia washing over him as he reaches the very familiar green door. He rings the doorbell.

“Hi!” Lisa’s eyes are wide as she takes him in.

“Hi Lis. Sorry this is kind of weird, but I was talking a walk, and got to thinking about you, and well… Here I am.” He finishes awkwardly, wondering why he thought this was a good idea.

But all his uncertainty is knocked right out when he’s hit with the sheer force and brightness of Lisa’s smile.

“Well I’m glad you got to thinking about me then!” She says. “Wanna come inside?”

“Uh… Sure.”

They end up in Lisa’s bedroom, which is crazy, because wow, _so_ many memories. So many firsts that took place, right here in this room.

They start off talking about college, and catching up for real, like they didn’t have time to the other day. She tells him about the guys she’s dated, and how they made her appreciate afterhand what a good boyfriend he was. Dean tells her about his life since they last saw each other, about the time before he met Cas, when he was basically so intent on having the college experience that he was screwing everything with a pulse. He doesn’t tell her about Cas though. Because he never actually told Lisa that he’s bi. Even though he realised when they were still together, he was always afraid she would be one of those girls who couldn’t handle being with a guy who liked both. Who’d be scared that he was always gonna like need a little dick on the side or something.

Dean’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he takes it out to see a text from Cas. **Where are you, are you alright?** Dean quickly types a response **I’m fine, hanging with Lisa.** It buzzes with a response quickly, **Okay, well have fun then.** Dean brain is too fried to make out if that’s passive aggressive or not.

The hours stretch on, and Lisa invites Dean to stay for dinner. He gets to meet a very pregnant Karen, who still looks at him like he’s her little sister’s boyfriend, who she needs to keep an eye on. Lisa’s parents are at some kind of dinner party though, so it’s just the three of them, and a chicken casserole.

After dinner, comes the inevitable reminiscing. About their first date, their first time, their first fight. There’s an endless amount of stories that make them smile, and they all start with _hey remember that time when…_ Lisa reminds Dean about the time he came in his pants at a party, and had to spend all night glued to her back like a barnacle. It was beyond embarrassing, and Dean can’t for the life of him remember why he didn’t just leave. Now it sends the both of them howling with laughter though. Lisa reminds him of how he asked her to prom with a series of riddles planted in different locations in school, the first one being in her locker. That memory is bittersweet, because they both kind of knew at that point, that they were on their way to being over.

Suddenly, Lisa gets this inspired glint in her eye. “I know, let’s go there!”

“Huh? Go where?”

“School! Let’s go to school. For old time sake!”

 

They end up on the football field. The sun went down hours ago, and when Dean looks at his phone he sees that it’s ten P.M. Jesus, was he at Lisa’s for that long? They plop their asses down, right in the middle of the field, in full view of the bleachers.

Lisa digs around in her pocket,  pulls something out and hands it to Dean. Dean takes it, smiling widely when he realises that it’s a flask.

“ _You_ are a _freaking_ legend Lisa Braeden.” He says, before opening it up and taking a big glug.

“It’s fitting right? Since we’re reliving our high school days.” Lisa replies, smiling.

They pass the flask between them, and continue to reminisce. Something weird happens to Dean’s mind to, after being so fucking tired all day, suddenly he feels sort of wired, and not sleepy at all. Weird.

“I think we had our first kiss over there.” Lisa says, pointing towards the bleachers.

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” Dean says.

“I remember because you’d already made out with two of my friends, and I was so scared someone would see and tell on me to them.”

Dean breaks down into laughter. “Shit that’s right! Wait what were their names?”

“Amber and Megan.”

Dean shakes with laughter. God he was a different guy back then.

“Still.” Lisa says thoughtfully. “It was a good kiss.”

Dean looks up at her and smiles. “Yeah, it was.”

Lisa looks back at him, her eyes alive in the darkness. The eye contact goes on for just a second too long, and alarm bells are just starting to go off in Dean’s head when Lisa leans in. Dean instinctively pulls away, and they barely make contact.

“Shit, um, sorry! I didn’t realise that you-” He rambles.

It’s too dark to be able to detect any blush, but even without it, the embarrassment is written plain across Lisa’s face.

“No, I’m sorry!” She says. “I thought maybe you wanted…”

An awkward silence descends, as they both compose themselves.

“I’m seeing someone.” Dean says. “Have been for a pretty long time. It’s um… Serious I guess.”

Lisa’s eyes widen. “Oh.” She seems to recover from her embarrassment. “Wow, ok.”

“Yeah um…” Dean struggles for a second with whether to reveal it or not, finally just saying an internal _fuck it_. “You met him actually. The guy I was with in the grocery store, Cas, Castiel.”

Lisa’s head snaps around so fast you’d think she was the girl from the exorcist. Dean feels her gaze heavy on his face. The silence stretches on, and Lisa keeps looking at him.

“You can ask.” He says.

She takes a deep breath. “Okay, so are you..?”

“I’m not gay. Don’t worry, our relationship wasn’t all a lie or anything like that. I was really in love with you, attracted to you and all that.”

“So you’re… What exactly?”

Dean turns toward her with a smile, “I dunno, an equal opportunity slut maybe? Or bisexual. Either one you wanna go with.”

She takes a minute to process. “Okay, well… Good. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, but you were my first love, that would have been a lot to handle.”

“Yeah I get it.”

Silence descends on them again for a while, but it feels peaceful, nice.

“So Cas-tee-el, was that his name?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, nicely done, he’s super cute.”

Dean smiles. “Yeah I know right?”

“Is he bisexual like you or..?”

“No he’s gay.”

“Oh ok. And you guys are serious?”

“Yeah, like freaky serious. We talk about marriage and kids and shit.”

“Wow that’s… wow.”

“I know.”

“So you’re in love?”

“Yeah. I am.” A heaviness creeps into his tone then, a heaviness that has to do with last night, Mary’s words in the dark kitchen. “I swear to God, sometimes I feel like I’m so in love I don’t know what to do.”

Lisa’s eyes are open and questioning. “What does that mean?”

“I dunno.” Dean says, struggling with his thoughts. “It’s just fucking scary sometimes, to give one person that much power over you.”

 _Will you take him back again?_ And that’s the problem. The reason he can’t bear to think about that question, because he knows the answer. And it makes him sick.

“I suppose.” Lisa says. “But it’s gotta be worth it right? I mean, I can’t wait to feel that way about someone.”

“Yeah I guess. I mean yeah, it’s worth it.”

“You better invite me to the wedding.”

“You bet.”

They stay for another hour or so, talking about life, but it’s really fucking cold and Dean starts to feel genuinely tired again. The exhaustion has returned. With a vengeance.

“It was great seeing you again.” Lisa says, as they part outside her house. “Like going back in time.”

“Yeah, I had a great time too.” He leans in for a hug, and then pulls back smiling. “Take care of yourself okay?”

“Yeah you too. Bye.”

He walks home alone, taking his phone out to see that it is now about a little after midnight. He gets inside the house and already just anticipating seeing Cas he’s feeling emotional. Because he needs to get this off his chest. Like now.

He feels like he’s frozen through to the bone and the warmth inside is so welcome. He climbs up the stairs trying not to make too much noise.

When he opens the door to his bedroom he sees Cas, still awake, sitting on the bed with Dean’s laptop in front of him.

“Hey.” Dean says, feeling strangely awkward. It’s been a weird day.

“Hello.”

Dean hears the tension on Cas’s voice, and he’s not sure what it’s about, but he doesn’t stop to think about it, because he needs to get this out.

“I need to talk to you.”

He tugs his pants off, before climbing in bed.

Cas moves to the side make room for him, pushing the laptop to the other end. “Okay..?”

“My mom she uh… She said some stuff. She has some concerns about us, bout you.”

“Okay..?”

“And she… fuck Cas, she asked me what I’d do if you- If I’d just take you back again and fuck, Cas I… _I would._ I’m terrified because I would. I would take you back again, and I’d feel sick and I’d hate myself, but I’d still fucking do it.”

Tears stream down his cheeks, warm and steady. Cas’s hands grip his face.

“Dean, you’re exhausted. You’re not making sense, go to sleep okay? We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“No no, Cas, I gotta say this now” He takes in a shaky breath. “If you ever want someone else, if you don’t want this anymore, Cas you gotta cut me loose. You can’t change your mind, you can’t ask me to take you back again, because I will, and I’ll just… _fuck_. I’ll take you back Cas, and I can’t be that person. Please dont- please don’t make me be that person okay? If you ever need to leave just please respect me enough to put me out of my misery okay? If you need to leave, you gotta- you can’t come back, cause I don’t know how to leave you, I could never leave you, I’ll always want you so please, I can’t walk away from you, so please don’t ask me to be that person because I’ll-”

“Dean, Dean calm down, calm down. “ Cas says, stroking his hands up and down Dean’s face almost frantically. “Calm down please, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

Dean looks at him and sees his blue eyes wide and lost.

“You need to sleep, you’ll feel better when you have okay? And we can talk more in the morning I promise.”

Dean open his mouth to say something else, but feels as exhaustion takes over him, making his eyelids heavy.

Cas holds him close, murmuring softly, “I’m yours Dean. I’ll always be yours.”

Dean tries to say something in reply, but the words come out garbled and incoherent.

“Sleep Dean, I love you. I’m yours.”

The last thing he sees before his eyes close, is the shape of the cartoon pandas on Cas’s sweater. He smiled drowsily at how cute they are and burrows his face farther into Cas’s chest, The material is soft and familiar against his face.

 

Dean wakes up the next morning fully rested and just lies there with his eyes closed for moment, remembering the day before. Ho-ly meltown. He can feel Cas breathing, and he wonders if they’ve stayed in this position all night.

“What time is it? he murmurs.

“About eleven. I thought it would be best to let you sleep until you woke up.”

“Thanks.”

Gentle fingers card through his hair, sending shivers of pleasure all down his barely wake body.

Dean drags himself out of bed, making a conscious effort not to look at Cas. “Gotta pee.” he says as he goes out the door.

After doing his business he stops to look in the bathroom mirror, to make sure that a goatee hasn’t magically appeared on his face. Because clearly Sam was right, and he does in fact turn into his own evil twin when he hasn’t slept. Or at least like, his mentally unstable twin. He thinks back to yesterday, and pretty much every single decision he made is baffling to him. It’s like the part of his brain that determines what’s appropriate and normal behavior just shut down. Ugh.

Cas is lying in bed when he comes back, looking up at him with something unfathomable dancing in those blue eyes. Dean doesn’t want to meet them, so instead he crawls back in and buries his face against his boyfriend’s chest. He’s still wearing the panda sweater.

“Didn’t you get hot, sleeping in this?” He mumbles, tugging at collar.

“I didn’t want to move, you were holding on to me. You looked really peaceful.”

“You saying that when I’m asleep I’m like a stage five clinger?”

“Yes, but we knew that already.”

“Ass.”

Dean feels a soft press of lips to his head, and they lie in silence for a while. The kind of silence with something brewing underneath.

“Dean…”

Dean inhales at the sound of Cas’s voice, almost wincing with how much he doesn’t want to talk about all the crap that came out of his mouth last night. It’s like he gave too much away, revealed accidentally just how much power Cas has over him. How fucked he’d be if this went off track.

“About what you said last night…”

“Ugh… I don’t even know what the fuck I was talking about Cas can we just-”

“You said you don’t know how to leave me.”

Oh shit, he did say that didn’t he? That doesn’t sound great out of context, and Cas only really got like half the context, and it was barely coherent at best.

“Cas look-”

“Is that why you’re still with me?” Cas’s voice is barely above a whisper. “Because you don’t know how to walk away? Because if it is then-”

“Cas stop that’s not- I love you. I love you, that’s why I’m with you. You make me happy, I can’t imagine my life without you. Besides we… We belong together.”

Cas is silent for a moment, and Dean dares lift his head up to look at him. His blue eyes are filled with tears, but there’s a smile on his face, and he looks at Dean like he’s watching a friggin miracle.

“Do you really believe that?” He asks, eyes full of wonder.

“I know that.” Dean says, burying his face in the crook of Cas’s neck. “I’ve always known that.”

Cas seemingly ponders that for a moment, and his hands travel all over Dean’s head, carding through his hair, and gently stroking the back of his neck.

“What did your mother say?”

Dean sighs. “She said that I was letting you treat me like crap, that we weren’t gonna work out and that you were gonna hurt me again.”

Cas’s hands stop their ministrations, and his body goes a little tense against Dean. “And did you believe her?”

“No. But still it’s like… Fuck it just really messed with my head you know?”

“Of course it did. She’s your mother.”

“Yeah. But she’s not always right. But um, yeah, you might have been right, you know what you said on the phone? I mean she doesn’t _hate_ you, but she’s not really over it.”

“She wants to protect you.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry that I… That I ever made myself someone she’d have to protect you from.”

“I know. I know you’re sorry but… ”

“What?”

“You just… you can’t ever-” Dean takes a deep breath, trying to steady his voice, but it still cracks, and the tears still come. “Cas, you gotta know that If you _ever_ pull something like that again you’ll… You’ll fucking _break_ me.”

“I know Dean, I know” Cas says, voice thick with regret. “I promise I won’t. I’ll always be yours.”

They share what is honestly kind of a nasty kiss, because tears and snot and all that. But it’s still nice, and Dean needs it. He lies, with his face buried in Cas’s sweater. And as he feels his boyfriend’s steady breathing, he thinks that he’d happily spend the entire day like this. He feels safe and loved, enveloped in Cas’s warmth.

“So did you have a nice time with Lisa?” Cas asks after while, in a disturbingly even voice.

Oh right shit. That’s another thing sleep deprived Dean did. He acted like a crazy person, basically ditched his boyfriend, went over to his ex girlfriend’s house and then texted said boyfriend that they were hanging out. Well at least he was honest about it.

“Uh… Yeah… Sorry about… That.” Dean says eloquently, trying to figure out how to tell Cas about the almost kiss. “So something sort of happened… And you might not like it… No, you definitely won’t like it.”

Dean knows it’s not big deal, but Cas is the jealous type, even though he’s never had any real reason to be. But Dean doesn’t mind cause it’s kinda hot.

“Go on.” Cas says, in a voice that’s basically just a low growl.

“She kissed me, well tried to, I pulled away. She didn’t know I was taken so…”

“She kissed you or she tried to kiss you, which is it?”

“What?”

“She either put her mouth on yours, or you pulled away before it happened. Which is it?”

“Well there was like a very, _very_ brief moment of her mouth on mine, but it’s just cause I didn’t react fast enough. It was like a millisecond.”

Cas lets out an angry hiss, which makes laughter bubble up in Dean’s gut.

“Okay settle down crazy,” He says, shifting positions so they’re facing each other. “You believe me when I say nothing happened right?”

“Yes.” Cas grumbles. “But I still don’t like it.”

“Hey don’t worry, you know you’re the only one who gets to board this ride.”

Cas laughs, rolling his eyes as the tension bleeds out of him. “I change my mind, she can have you.”

“Hey! Don’t even pretend you’re not addicted to my sweet sweet lovin.”

“Do you ever hear yourself and marvel at how cheesy you are?”

“No cause I’m too busy marveling at how big my dick is.”

“Oh my God!” Cas says, laughing and pulling Dean in for a kiss. “You’re maybe the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met.”

Dean lets out a moan of appreciation as their lips meet again. “Thanks baby.”

 

After breakfast, they decide to finish their Disney movie marathon from yesterday, since there is a whole stack of dvd:s they didn’t get to.

“Why do you have all these?” Cas asks as they press play on Aladdin.

“They’re dad’s.” Sam informs him.

Cas looks to Dean, making that face he gets when he’s not sure if someone is making a joke or not.

Dean just shrugs. “Man loves Disney, what can I say?”

Cas looks surprised but his lips quirk upward into a tiny smile. “That’s very… Sweet actually.”

Dean can’t help but lean into his space and press their lip together softly. “You’re very sweet.” He murmurs.

“Bleugh.” Sam says, effectively destroying the moment.

Dean reaches into the bag of doritos and flings two at his brother. Sam just grins, and stuffs them into his mouth. “Thanks.”

They’re about twenty minutes into the movie when Sam’s phone buzzes on the table. Dean couldn’t care less, he’s busy admiring Aladdin’s nipple less chest, but then he’s distracted by the sight of Sam smiling and blushing down as he looks down at his phone.

“Who’re you talking to Sammy?” Dean says, in his teasing big brother voice.

“No one!” Sam says, quickly putting his phone behind his back, as if that wasn’t a dead giveaway.

“Uh huh, why don’t you let me see your phone then?”

“No!” Sam says, leaning farther away from Dean.

“Why? You afraid I’ll call Jessica and reveal how much you looove her?”

“No, because I don’t!”

Dean gives his brother a sceptical raise of his eyebrows, and the lunges at him. Sam shrieks as Dean reaches behind him, trying to pry his phone out of his hand. Then he shoves Dean off, springs out of his seat and runs up the stairs.

“Jerk!” He yells behind him.

Dean sits where he landed on the floor, laughing so hard his eyes fill with tears. God, he’s forgotten how fun it is to terrorize his little brother.

“Was that really necessary?” Cas asks, looking down from the couch at him.

Dean can see the amusement dancing in his eyes.

“No, but it was fucking hilarious.”

“Hm.” Cas says, gets up from his seat on the couch and plops down on top of Dean, effectively straddling him.

Dean lets his arms snake around his boyfriend’s back, pulling him closer. “Hi.” He murmurs, closing the distance between them.

Cas’s lips move against his, soft but with an undercurrent of need.

“I love seeing you like this,” Cas whispers in between kisses.

“Like this how?” Dean asks, pulling away slightly and letting his fingers thread through Cas’s wild hair.

“Like how you are with Sam. And your parents. In your home, where you belong. You’re so relaxed, and so… you.” Cas blushes, and looks down. “I didn’t think I could fall more in love with you, but I have.”

Dean surges forward to capture his lips again, pulling him down until he’s practically lying on top of Dean. Cas melts into his embrace and moans into the kiss. Then there’s this soft broken whimper in the back of his throat, the kind of sound that drives Dean insane.

“God,” He moans, rolling his hips, grinding against the other boy. “You’re so hot when you fucking moan like that.”

Cas kisses his way down Dean’s face, down to his throat, sucking on Dean’s adam’s apple.

The sound of the back door opening startles them both, and they pull away from each other. There’s the sound of someone moving around the kitchen, and then the door opens and closes again. They look at each other and both start laughing.

“Maybe we should move this upstairs.” Dean suggests.

Cas’s lips ghost across his cheek. “Yes, let’s do that.”

 

“ _Oh God yes, right there, right there, don’t stop_ ,” Cas moans, as Dean drives into him.

He has a sheen of softly glistening sweat pooling right by his collarbone, and his entire body is flushed pink. His eyes are closed as his head rocks backwards, completely lost in the sensation. Dean really wants to get him off first (because he’s a fucking gentleman), but the sight of his shy sweet boyfriend completely wanton and begging for it is making that kind of hard. It’s not a bad problem to have though.

He closes his eyes, but he can still _hear_ him, panting and moaning.

“Baby, c’mon you gotta touch yourself,” He pants, thrusting into him again. “Cause I’m gonna- _Oh fuck-_ I’m not gonna last _-”_

He goes to the folder in his mind that he used in his teenage years to kill and embarassing boner, averting his eyes from Cas. _Gollum, think about Gollum_ he tells himself. Creepy, raw fish eating, not even a little bit sexy Gollum.

He hears the sound of Cas jacking himself, and fuck don’t look, _don’t look._

“ _Dean, faster, come on, please_ ,” Cas moans.

He picks up his speed, not looking down at Cas, and keeping the image of Gollum’s stinky, gross teeth at the forefront of his mind. And his gross white dirty loincloth.

“ _Oh God, Dean, so good, you’re gonna make me come_ , _I’m gonna come,_ ”

Fucking finally, because at this point not even Gollum was gonna do it.

He slams into Cas again, and looks down just in time to see his boyfriend completely come apart, jacking himself furiously until he comes, painting stripes across his own stomach with a drawn out, broken moan.

 _Oh, God_ , that’ll never be less fucking hot. Dean lets go, feeling Cas tighten around him he gives it one, two more thrusts, and then he’s done for. He spills deep inside his boyfriend, with a sound that’s half a moan, half a relieved, breathless laugh.

And when he comes down from his orgasm he’s completely useless, just like he knew he would be. All he can do is roll to the side, to avoid crushing Cas.

He laughs breathlessly, through his post orgasm haze. “God you’re gonna fucking kill me.”

“Hm, but what a way to go.” Cas pants.

Dean laughs until his stomach cramps and he feels like he’s gonna black out.

Once he can breathe again he turns to Cas.“Do you remember the first time we did that?” He asks.

Cas threads their fingers together and smiles. “Of course. It was terrible.”

“Hey!” Dean uses his free hand to flick him in the cheek. “Don’t say that, it was perfect.”

Cas turns his head and motions Dean closer for a slow lazy kiss. “You’re right, it was perfect.” He says. “But also terrible.” He leans in for another kiss, and his fingers gently caress the short sweaty hairs at the nape of Dean’s neck.

“Fine.” Dean says, conceding. “But hey, we got the hang of it eventually.”

Cas gets this wicked glint in his eye, “Yes we really did.”

They get in the shower together, and just stand under the spray like two boneless zombies. And when they get out, Dean realises that yeah, those sheets need to be changed.

Cas borrows one of Dean’s t-shirts, just because that’s a thing he likes to do sometimes, but because he’s Cas and he’s a weirdo, he also puts a sweater on over it. And when Dean points out that it’s kind of weird he wraps his arms around himself and says _“It makes me feel closer to you.”_ Which shuts Dean right up. And also makes him a little teary. Cause he’s a huge fucking sap now.

“You really shouldn’t tease Sam about his girlfriend you know,” Cas says from the bed as Dean is rifling through his drawer trying to find a clean pair off socks.

“Sam doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Dean says, cursing himself for being so fucking disorganised. “He just wishes he did.”

“What? Yes he does. Jessica, the girl you teased him about texting. His _girlfriend_ Jessica.”

Dean whirls around and looks at his boyfriend. “Who told you she’s his girlfriend?

“Sam did.” Cas gets that cute little line between his eyebrows that always appears when he’s confused about something.

Dean just stares, before breaking down into laughter. “Oh that’s fucking great! I’m gonna give him so much shit.”

“No no no, you can’t! Cas says, voice an octave higher now.“Dean you can’t!”

“What, why?”

“Because he obviously told me in confidence, only I didn’t realise!”

“So?”

“So you can’t let him know that I told you, because then he’ll think I betrayed his trust!”

“Cas, he met you three days ago, it can’t be that big of a secret.”

“Dean please? It  may seem silly to you, but it means a lot to me that your brother likes me enough to tell me something personal, and I would really like it if he continued to feel that way. So please don’t tease him about it, just act like I never told you, please?”

And Dean never stood a fucking chance. Not with those freaking blue pools full of sincerity and pleading trained right at him. No man with a soul could look into them, hear the word please come out of that mouth, and say no.

Still sockless, he practically jumps up on the bed, and pulls Cas down underneath him, making the other boy yelp in surprise.

“Okay.”Dean says, and presses their lips together. “I won’t say anything.”

Cas lifts his head up and kisses him again, before pulling back with a smile. “Thank you.”

“Uh huh. You’re fucking lucky I love you so much.”

“I am very lucky.” Cas agrees, and then blushes. “So lucky to be yours.”

“See now who’s the cheesy one?”

“It’s still you. I’m being romantic, there’s a big difference.”

“Oh, I see how it is.” Dean says, leaning down to kiss him again.

They make out for a little bit, and then decide to go back downstairs, to finish their interrupted movie watching.

“Hey, when did you have time to bond with Sam anyway?” Dean asks, as they’re going down the stairs hand in hand.

“Oh remember yesterday, when you left me alone with your family for a whole night so you could hang out with your ex girlfriend? Then.”

“So you should be thanking me is really what you’re saying.”

“Don’t push it.” Cas replies, a small smile on his face.

They find Sam, back in the armchair, watching the end of Aladdin, with the now empty bag of doritos on the table.

“I hid my phone.” Is the first thing he says when he sees them.

“Did you now Samantha? My my what a crafty girl you are.”

“And it’s somewhere you’ll never find it.”

“Relax, dorito thief, I’m not gonna steal your phone. I’m all about truth, justice and the american way.” _And your dick_ he mouths to Cas, who bursts out laughing.

They watch Mulan next, and Dean’s kind of sad that they missed most of Aladdin, because hello, princess Jasmine _c’mon_ . But then Mulan sings reflection, and it’s _just so powerful._

“I love you.” Cas whispers, reaching up to wipe Dean’s wet cheek.

Dean reaches down to seal their lips together. “I love you too.”

 

That night, just as he’s about to fall asleep, he hears someone moving around downstairs. He tries to just ignore and go to sleep, but something in him is telling him to go, go finish that conversation he kind of mostly wants to forget about. He sighs and gets out of bed, shivering a little as the air hits his skin. He grasps around on the floor, trying to find his sweatpants and t-shirt. He pulls them on and pads out of the room, and down the stairs. As he approaches the kitchen he realises that he doesn’t even know what he’s going to say.

“Hey,” He greets her, walking over to the kitchen island and sitting down next to her

“Hi love. What are you still doing up?”

“Uh… Having intense uncomfortable conversation in the middle of the night I think.”

She gives a small smile at that. “I see.” She sighs. “Listen, sweetheart, it was never my intention to-”

“Wait can I go first? I just gotta be get this out.”

Mary quiets and looks at him, eyes intent and nods, “Go ahead honey.”

“Ok.” Dean takes a deep breath, and the words just come to him, “Cas is… he’s it for me. And I’m giving it everything, because I know, I just _know_ that he’s the one mom. And he screwed up, and he hurt me, I’m not denying that, but I know we’re meant to be together. And even if he walked out on me tomorrow, I’ll never be sorry for giving it my all, because if things don’t work out, then at least that won’t be on me. But if I cut and run, because I’m scared of getting hurt again, I would never forgive myself. I don’t know what I’d do if I ended up losing him, he makes everything brighter, makes me want to be better. So even if I do get scared sometimes, there’s no way I’m walking away. Because how could I live with myself if I walked away from the person I know I’m supposed be with?”

Mary is silent for a moment, and then her lips quirk up into a fond and sad smile. “That was quite a speech I have to say.”

Dean blushes and laughs, he may have gotten a little carried away.

“Sweetheart, do you know why I kept my feelings to myself all this time?” Mary asks.

Dean hadn’t really thought about it. “Uh, no.”

Mary reaches forward, gently placing her hand on his cheek. “Because I know you, and I knew that no matter what I said, I was never going to change your mind.”

“Huh.”

Mary smiles at that, and her eyes exude so much love and concern it makes Dean’s heart swell.

“All I want,” She says. “Is for you to be happy. And if you say he makes you happy, then that’s all there is to it.”

“But you’d still rather I was with someone else.”

Mary sighs softly. “Yes. You are the most precious thing I have, and I’d  rather you were with someone I trusted to care for you, and respect you. But if he’s still by your side ten years from now, loving you like you deserve to be loved, then I’ll rethink my position.”

“Just ten years huh? Seems reasonable.”

“That’ll be plenty of time to learn that no one hurts my baby.”

“Mom c’mon, I think I’m a little too old to be referred to as your _baby_.”

Mary smiles and pats his cheek. “I don’t care what you think.”

Dean bursts out laughing, and gets out of his seat. “Okay. I’m gonna go back to bed now. Good talk.”

“Good night then.” She calls.

Dean stops in the doorway, and then turns back to wrap his mother in a fierce hug.

“Good night mom.”

And he walks back up the stairs with a smile on his face. He’s real goddamn fucking lucky to have a mom like her.

 

“Hm, you smell so good.” Dean murmurs sleepily as the morning light streams in through the window.

“What do I smell like?” Cas asks, pressing another soft kiss to Dean’s brow.

“Like a delicious blue eyed sweater wearing little nerd. And cookies.”

Dean feels the vibrations of Cas’s laughter against his body. “I smell like cookies?”

“Hm, delicious, delicious cookies.” Dean says, shivers rippling through him as Cas presses soft lips to his neck.

“You’ve somehow made that sound dirty.”

“Good.”

Their lips move together for a moment and before Dean pulls away and smiles at his boyfriend. “So I talked to my mom again last night, and good news, she says you’re on ten years probation.”

Cas’s eyes widen. “Ten years? Ok. I’ll manage that I think.”

“Does it scare you? Thinking you’ll still be here with my sorry ass ten years from now?”

Cas brushes Dean’s hair back gently, blushing. “No. I can’t wait to spend my life with you. And trust me, you behind is not sorry, in fact, it brings me great joy.”

“Aw, was that your way of saying I have a great ass?”

“Yes.”

“You’re just the fucking cutest you know that?” Dean says, pulling him into another kiss.

And even with his eyes closed, Dean is 100 percent sure that Cas is blushing again.

 

They’re alone in the house this morning because Mary dragged John out antiquing, and Sam very quietly announced that he was going over to a friend’s house (Friend right, he’s probably deflowering that Jessica chick right now). Their sweet morning kisses turn a little less sweet, and soon they’re having to get in the shower, to wash off the evidence of their activities. Dean goes downstairs to get started on a late breakfast slash brunch while Cas finishes getting dressed.

He decides to get a little more advanced than usual, to treat his boyfriend. He finds himself wondering if this is what it will be like when they graduate college and move in together. Lazy morning sex and then cooking each other breakfast. Is it weird that he’s excited for that? Shouldn’t he be all about keeping his freedom at this age? Maybe they’re an anomaly.

He’s still lost in thought, standing over a pan of eggs and bacon when Cas comes down the stairs. His hair is still wet from the shower, rendering it so dark it’s practically black against his pale skin. And when Dean sees what he’s wearing, a huge smile spreads over his face.

Cas stops and looks at him, cocking his head to the side. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Your sweater.” Dean says, flipping a piece of bacon over needlessly.

“My sweater?” Cas just looks confused. “Are you implying that it’s somehow comical?”

Dean lets out a soft laugh. “Well they all are but no, that’s not why I’m smiling.”

“I’m confused.”

“Baby c’mon really? Remember the first words I ever said to you?”

Cas’s eyes are just two pools of confusion as they flit from Dean, to his own, purple, banana printed sweater. His face is blank as he looks back up at Dean. Dean, who sees the exact moment it clicks, a rare wide smile appearing on his boyfriend’s face, complete with the adorable nose crinkles. “Oh!”

“Yeah oh.” Dean says.

Cas moves closer to him, and leans in to kiss his shoulder. He looks down at the sizzling pan and then back up at Dean. “Can I help with something?”

“You can get plates out. Top cupboard.”

Cas turns away to take the plates out and sets them on the kitchen island. “I can’t believe you even remember what I was wearing when we met.”

“No offense baby, but I think I’d have to have a lobotomy to forget that sweater. It’s like imprinted on my sinuses forever, I’ll never unsee it.”

Dean is confused by the lack of response until he feels the warmth of Cas’s body against his back, and it’s nice until there’s the sharp pain of teeth digging into the skin between his neck and shoulder.

“Ow, sorry sorry, I take it back!” He yells, laughing as he tries to shake Cas off.

“That’ll teach you never to insult my sweaters .” Cas says, sounding smug.

Dean turns around and waves the spatula at him threateningly. “Hey! I love your sweaters! If you’ll remember, I _chased_ after you while you were wearing that very one.”

Cas smiles and blushes faintly. “How could I forget?” He wraps his arms around Dean and leans in for a kiss.

“Hm.” Is Dean’s eloquent response to that.

He parts his lips for Cas’s tongue, moaning into the kiss. Then he lets his lips travel further north and as payback, bites down in the exact same spot where Cas bit him. But of course, Cas just lets out a hoarse drawn out moan, cause he’s really enjoying his newly discovered kink. Dean can’t help but think of so many other great places on Cas to leave little bite marks.

And needless to say children, breakfast was postponed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, leave kudos if you feel like it and tell me your thoughts in the comments. That sleep deprivation personality change is an actual thing that happens to me by the way, I just like turn into a fucking monster. My sister once cried and left the room cause she couldn't deal with me.


End file.
